Planning for your Marriage, not just your Wedding
There is so much planning that goes into making every moment of your wedding day absolutely perfect. But what we do not realize, is preparing for our marriages is SO vital to their health and wellbeing. During the time of your engagement is a great time to start pouring into your relationship and preparing for a lifetime together, but it doesn’t stop there. Marriage is a continual learning process that requires both the husband and wife to commit to learning and investing.
1. Premarital class
I know to a lot of people, the idea of a premarital class is a little old-school or even unnecessary. I truly believe there is true value in investing in premarital counseling. In a premarital counseling session you may go over things like understanding your family of origin, creating roles in your home, and understanding one another’s personalities and love languages. It is so amazing and important to have someone come alongside you and pour into your relationship before you enter into a marriage covenant.
You may not be a big-time reader but reading can be a huge way to learn about what to expect in marriage. Here are a few of my favorites that I have come across/ dove into since Nate and I got engaged and have been married.
–The Mingling of Souls- Matt Chandler
–You and Me Forever- Francis Chan
–The 5 Love Languages- Gary Chapman
–The Act of Marriage- Tim & Beverly LaHaye
–Fighting for your Marriage- Howard Markman
–A Model for Marriage- Jack and Judith Balswick
–Boundaries in Marriage- Henry Cloud
–Love Sex and Happily Ever After- Craig Groeschel
–Real Marriage- Mark and Grace Driscoll
3. Finance Class
One of the main obstacles couples face in marriage is money. It is so important to start your marriage on the same page. By taking a finance class like Financial Peace University, or reading Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, you will begin to understand one another’s spending habits, prepare a budget, and start your marriage off to a great financial start (no matter how much money you make).
4. Dream together
Don’t be afraid in all the chaos of wedding planning to stop and dream together. Think about the places you would love to travel together, the things you would love to experience together, and the people you would love to see together. It is amazing to continue to dream not only in your engagement, but also in your marriage. Continue to have conversations about your personal dreams and aspirations as well as your dreams together as a couple, and even in your future family.
1. Find a church body
I highly recommend finding a church body that you both feel comfortable in. It is essential to your marriage to have a church body that you can invest in and can invest back into you. By starting your marriage in a comfortable spiritual environment where you both feel accepted, will set a great foundation as you are entering into this new stage in your lives together.
2. Find a small group
Lastly, find a small group to invest in. A small group (life group, or bible study) is a small gathering of couples who are in similar phases of life or even in various phases. Having a group that you can openly share with and talk to about your marriage is a great resource. You can usually find a small group through your church, however if your church does not offer small groups, I totally recommend gathering other couples you know in a commitment to pray together and ‘do-life- together over a study of some sort.
Most important of all, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is absolutely no shame in not knowing all of the answers. Nate and I have been in so many ups and downs in our 6 years of marriage that have required us to humbly ask for help, and because of that we have grown closer together and have grown in understanding of how one another ticks. Marriage is a beautiful thing!
Are you getting married? I would love to hear more about your wedding plans and see if I would be a good fit to serve you on your wedding day for Photography and/or Videography.