I'm going to go ahead and preface this blog by saying that not everyone will agree with me on what is written below, and that is TOTALLY okay! One thing I have learned about motherhood, and life in general, is that it is okay to disagree and have different opinions, so feel free to take what I say or leave it.
My Motherhood Journey
In 2015 when I found out I was pregnant with Jude, my husband Nate and I had just walked the road of 3 miscarriages. After losing 3 babies, then finding out we were expecting again, you can imagine that the nerves were a tad overwhelming. I read all the books and blogs, did all the things, made all the plans, and pretty much lived on the edge for 10 months until I could breathe a sigh of relief once Jude was in my arms safe and sound.
One piece of advice that I took from all the books and blogs was to have a detailed birth plan. Being the type A person I am, I typed that bad boy out, printed and packed it in my hospital bag, and was ready to follow the step-by-step labor and delivery plan I had dreamed up for myself. If you have delivered a baby, you may read that last sentence and chuckle a little. If you haven't birthed a baby before, I'll spare you the details by saying that sometimes birth doesn't go as planned.
After a long induction with Jude and a somewhat traumatizing delivery, it goes without saying that my "birth plan" was pointless. Two more deliveries later, I feel confident in the advice I am about to give all you mamas who are in the process of preparing for delivery.
Birth plans are NOT necessary. God has ordained your birth story beyond anything you could write out and imagine.
Why I Feel That Birth Plans are Unnecessary
The risk that you run into when you write out a detailed plan is feeling trapped in one specific way to birth your baby which could lead to feelings of disappointment if your birth story doesn't align with how you imagined. It could take away the joy of bringing a life into this world-- of feeding them, of soothing them, and the power behind it all. Hear me out here... I have met countless women who felt disappointed or unworthy because their birth plan didn't go according to plan. Whether you birth your baby naturally or with an epidural; you have a vaginal birth or you deliver by C-section; you birth at home, in a hospital, or in a car-- YOUR BIRTH STORY is WORTHY and POWERFUL. Do not believe the lie others plant in your mind (especially other moms) that there is one right way to birth your baby and if you do it differently, then you are any less of a warrior.
So here is my biggest piece of advice... ditch the birth plan if you feel like it will lead to disappointment. If you know in your heart that IF things don't go according to plan you will feel differently about your experience, then it is not worth it. Pray and be confident in your abilities to make wise decisions about your birth story and trust that God has ordained you to deliver your baby however he sees fit-- whatever that may look like. By ditching the birth plan you will be able to be fully present during your labor experience and truly experience every moment-- the good, bad, ugly, and joyful. Birth is messy and unpredictable.
Wherever you are right now in your motherhood journey, do what feels right for you and your baby (both your birth and how you plan to raise your children). If you feel the need to make a plan then go for it, but be flexible and allow yourself to go with the flow if changes need to be made. Do not let an unfollowed birth plan ruin the most magical moment of your life!
